The Impact of Parenting Styles on Lifespan Development Part I
2008-09-01

By Quinn Hooks

Abstract

Today there is a great deal of research in the area of parenting styles and its impact on a person’s development. This research has shown that parenting styles will impact an individual greatly not only in his childhood but the impact carries well into adulthood. This paper will seek to evaluate the research, theories, controversies, and a biblical worldview surrounding parenting styles and their impact in the various area of a person’s development throughout the lifespan up to young adulthood. This evaluation will take place in the areas of 1) definition of styles, 2) the effects of the styles, 3) controversies in the research, and 4) a biblical view of parenting.

In counseling, parenting styles must be taken into account. The parenting style to which a person was exposed has long term impact on his lifespan development. A person must make peace with his past before his can move into the future.

Today there is a great deal of research in the area of parenting styles and its impact on a person’s development. This paper will seek to evaluate the research, theories, controversies, and a biblical worldview surrounding parenting styles and their impact in the various area of a person’s development throughout the lifespan up to young adulthood. This evaluation will take place in the areas of 1) definition of styles, 2) the effects of the styles, 3) controversies in the research, and 4) a biblical view of parenting.

Definition of Parenting Styles

As a person comes to the research concerning parenting styles, it is evident that a debate whether there are three or four parenting styles. The point of contention is whether permissive and uninvolved are to be considered as one style or divided into two styles. In the case of this paper, four parenting styles will be considered. The reason for this distinction is the characteristics of these styles and the relationship that is fostered between children and parents with these.respective styles 6(Feldman, 2008).

The authoritarian parenting style is considered to be a restrictive style. A metaphor common to describe this style is the image of the child being treated like a “trained dog” or “stubborn donkey” (Stein, Henry, 2008). With this in mind, the authoritarian parents do not give the children the opportunity to learn from their errors (Marsiglia, Walczyk, Buboltz, & Griffith-Ross, 2007). The authoritarian parents are highly controlling and use punitive measures if the children fail to meet parental expectations. The children are not allowed to question the parents’ authority. Authoritarian parents are very involved in the lives of their children and the children’s activity as they do not want the children to fall short of parental demands and expectations. These children are given few if any choices (”Introductory Concepts: Parenting Styles…”, 2007). With this in mind, it is simple to see why parents using this style have the tendency to display little warmth towards their children with warmth being defined as “degree to which parents are accepting and responsive of their children’s behavior as opposed to being unresponsive and rejecting” (Kopko, 2007). In the end, authoritarian parents may be described as being “cold, rigid, controlling, and punitive” (Feldman, 2008). With these descriptions used, it is easy to see why the authoritarian parenting style now has a negative view in Western cultures. Whereas this may be true in Western societies, the expectations in Eastern societies are different and this is the style which Eastern parents are expected to use with their children (Ang, R.P., and Goh, D.H., 2006).

The second style which will be considered is called the authoritative style. This style is described in more positive terms by researchers. One of the terms used for this style is “democratic” (Ritter, 2006). The parents using this style strive to help the children achieve independence. This is accomplished by goal achievement and activities. These parents have high demands academically and socially. These parents provide a warm and nuturing enviroment showing interest in the children. Their children are taught to make logical decisions based on verbal interactions (”Introductory Concepts: Parenting Styles…”, 2007). Using this style, parents encourage discussions and debates with their child. These parents are warm and supportive (Kopko, 2007). Researchers use the image of the child as being an equal part of the family unit. The child is expected to do his share and be cooperative with family members. Also, as the child matures, he is given progressively more challenging goals. The child is expected to develop at his own pace (Stein, Henry, 2008). The children of authoritative parents are given set rules and guidelines with logical consequences if the parameters are violated. The authoritative parents have control over the children without being controling. As the children mature, these parent normally give more responsibity and freedom to the children within well defined boundaries (Finkel, Audrey, 2002).

. The third style for discussion is the permissive style. In this style, the parents are very warm but very undemanding. Children, especially teens, are allowed to make very important life decisions with little or no parental input (Kopko, 2007). There are few if any requirements on the children from these parents. For the most part, these parents refuse to take responsibility for how their children turn out. These parents show warmth towards their children giving them a great deal of freedom in their behaviors and choices (”Introductory Concepts: Parenting Styles…”, 2007). The image used to describe this stage depends on the parental attitude. If the parent is over-indulgent, the child has material possessions and services poured out upon him in a flood. The parents pour out gifts and services with little regard for the child’s actual needs. On the other hand, if the parent is overly submissive, the child is placed upon a throne and the parent kowtows to his every whim. The parents are treated like slaves and the child expects all his desires to be fulfilled with little regard for others (Stein, Henry, 2008). These parents rarely make rules and the rules which are made are not consistently enforced. These rules have no clear boundaries or clear consequences if those ambiguous parameters are violated. These parents want to give their children a great deal of freedom in making choices even if the children have not matured to a point to make good decisions (Iannelli, Vince, 2004).

The fourth parenting style is known as the uninvolved parenting style. This very closely related to the permissive style as it does not place any demands upon the child. However, uninvolved parents are not warm towards their children and display an emotional detachment to the child (Kopko, 2007). The primary trait of this style is the lack of parental involvement in the child’s life. There is a great lack of communication between the child and parent. The child receives very little in the way of nurture. Whatever communication occurs infers to the child that the parent’s activities are of a greater priority then the child (”Introductory Concepts: Parenting Styles…”, 2007). At best, the parent only sees his role as providing for the basic needs of the child. In more extreme cases, it can result in child neglect which is a form of child abuse (Feldman, 2008).

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